After a two-year hiatus that included recovery from heart surgery, Arnold Schwarzenegger returned to the big screen in November 1999 with End of Days, a Thanksgiving turkey if ever there was one. Overcooked and bloated with stuffing, this ludicrous thriller attached itself to the end-of-the-millennium furor that kicked in a year too early. A prologue begins in 1979 with panic in the Vatican when a comet signals the birth of a child who will, 20 years later, become the chosen bride of Satan, destined to conceive the devil's spawn between 11 p.m. and midnight on December 31, 1999. It's hard to decide who has the more thankless role--Robin Tunney as Satan's would-be bride, or Schwarzenegger as Jericho Cane, the burned-out alcoholic bodyguard assigned to protect the girl from Satan, billed as "The Man" and played with cheesy menace (and an inconsistent variety of metaphysical manifestations) by Gabriel Byrne.

Arnie does horror!

In short, this film is a cross between THE TERMINATOR, RAMBO, THE EXCORCIST and has a little ROSEMARY'S BABY thrown in just for fun.Whether this is an ideal combination or not, of course, is up to the individual viewer.

Like most occult movies, this one follows the tried & true formula: the Catholic church has a deep dark secret that it has held safe the past 2,000 years. The secret has ominous overtones, and only they know how to save the world (or @ least try to?).

In this film, Arnie plays a character who is far more vulnerable than his usual ultra-masculine roles. That in itself makes it an interesting role for him. He is normally the strongest character in his movies, both physically and insofar as his overpowering screen presence. Not so this time around.

Of course, part of the reason that Arnie is not so overpowering is that he has to duel with Satan. While this is the impetus for some cute action scenes, one can't get away from the fact that going after Satan with machine guns and grenade launchers will always end up being just a wee bit corny.

On the occult side, there is some interesting religious symbolism, most notably a serpent & an apple (think Genesis!). They also dabble with the old "speaking in tounges" routine. However, in the end the movie paints with a wide brush and basically tends to end up looking like they wanted to shovel in as much religious imagery as they could, including one that is a pun.

Robin Tunney is a capable actress as the poor iconic religious vixen who is caught in the middle of it all. There is one scene, however, that I objected to. She takes her shirt off on the way to the shower. That is all fine & well, and I'd never be adverse to gratuitous nudity in any film. Rather, the problem I have is that she is topless for about 1 second and it's from a distant, bad angle. They obviously paid her more for this (they always pay extra for nudity). Therefore, why not let us SEE her? She has a smokin' body, and had they done this scene correctly I'd be higher on this movie!

Anyway, the botched nudity scene aside, this movie is a bit jumbled & convoluted. It's not a bad movie, but I don't know too many people who would rank it as anything better than mediocre. It may appeal to people who are fans of occult movies and people who are fans of actions flicks. However, my gut feeling is that people who are big on occult movies will complain that it should have had more of the occult aspect in it (preferably in a context that is more straight-forward), while fans of action flicks would have preferred a movie with more action. That's my bit.

Oh brother...

There are some holes in logic that I'm willing to accept in some movies. But when it's a major part of the script I just can't take it. Arnold himself pretty much sums up this turkey with the most memorable line in the movie. When told that the Devil must mate with a woman between 11:00pm and midnight Arnold sneers and says "Is that Eastern Time?"

You got it, Arnie. 2 stars for him only.

who doesn't love a good vs. evil film?

the story has been done many times, but the things that made this a good movie for me are the following:

gabriel byrne is so hot as the devil
arnold uses many profanities

i always love gabriel byrne's performances and who doesn't love to hear the governor of california drop the f bomb. i think i would have given this movie 5 stars if we had seen more of the devil.